105. His last illness

When Luang Pu returned from the hospital in early 1983, it didn’t mean that he had fully recovered from his illness, simply that he had to use an extreme level of endurance to survive for eight more months, to the special merit-making celebration that had been planned for his 96th birthday. As the day of the ceremony approached, his symptoms started getting erratic: He’d be very tired, uncomfortable, and feverish from time to time. I asked him if we should take him back to Chulalongkorn Hospital, but he said, “There’s no need to.” And then he added, “I forbid you to take me, for even if I went, I wouldn’t recover.”

I replied, “Last time your illness was heavier than this and you still recovered. This time it’s not heavy at all. You’re sure to recover.”

Luang Pu said,

“That was last time. This isn’t last time.”