Who Are You Feeding?

We close our eyes when we meditate so that we can see what’s going on in the mind more clearly, but we can’t go through life with our eyes closed. We have to open them. We have to listen with our ears, smell with the nose, taste with the tongue, touch with the body, think with the mind. These activities are a necessary part of our lives, so we have to learn how to do them well. So that’s part of the meditation, too.

There’s that old question, “How do we bring the practice into daily life?” It’s better to think of the practice as being the context and how you can bring your daily life into your practice. One of the ways of doing that, of course, is through restraint of the senses. When you’re going around with your eyes open and your ears open, ask yourself—when you look at something—“Who inside is doing the looking?” Is it you? Or your discernment? Your greed? Your lust? Your anger? Your jealousy? Because whatever you use to do the looking, you’re feeding that quality in the mind.

So when you look, are you feeding your greed? Are you feeding your anger? Your lust? Or are you feeding your discernment? After all, it is possible to look at anything with discernment. But you have to be careful. Sometimes there are times when you can’t figure out yet the wise way to look at certain things, so you don’t bother. The same with listening: If you can listen to things and not get angry, not get worked up, then go ahead and listen. But if you can’t listen without getting worked up, try to avoid those things for the time being at least. Ask yourself, “What’s the problem inside? Why can’t you view these things with equanimity?”

When something is attractive, learn to look for its unattractive side. That balances things out. When something is unattractive, look for its good side. That balances things out. Then you can choose which side is the most skillful to focus on—and how. But you’ve got to be careful about who you’re feeding inside. You want to feed your mindfulness. You want to feed your concentration. You want to feed your discernment.

See somebody beautiful? Well remember, they’re going to get old, and then they’re going to die. Sometimes we hear people say, “Well, old age is actually attractive in its way.” But a dead body is never attractive in any way. And this is where each body is headed: to death, to decomposition. So think about that every time you see something attractive.

As for things that are exciting your anger, ask yourself, “Do you really want your mind to be set on fire by these things?” If you see that something is wrong, is an angry response the best one or is a more measured response, where you stop and think about what would actually be the most skillful way of responding? That way you’re looking and you’re listening with discernment rather than with anger. You’re feeding the good qualities of the mind. And in that way, daily life does become part of the practice.

So remind yourself that practice is something 24/7. Then the affairs of the world come into your mind only part of the time. When you’re meditating, you can put the affairs of the world aside. They don’t have to be 24/7. They may be happening 24/7, but your interest in them has to be limited. After all, the big issue in your life is your mind. It’s not the world outside.

So keep your focus on the mind and what you’re feeding inside. Of course, you’re not being selfish as you do this, because if you keep your mind in a skillful state, you’re going to be acting skillfully with other people. So restrain your senses—exercise restraint with your senses—for the good of everyone all around.