Unabused Goodwill

We have to remember that when the Buddha recommended we spread thoughts of goodwill to all beings in all directions, he didn’t live in a fairy tale world where everybody was nice and appreciative. There were people who spread false rumors about him, even people who tried to kill him. He lived in a dangerous world. So we have to keep that in mind as we develop thoughts of goodwill. We can’t expect that everybody is going to appreciate our goodwill or will respond in kindness.

We have to make sure, though, that our goodwill doesn’t depend on their reaction. And we may find cases where you say people abuse your goodwill. They’re not abusing your goodwill. They’re abusing your expression of it for being generous, and they abuse your generosity. Tell yourself, “I don’t have to be generous to that person,” but you maintain goodwill no matter what.

Remember the Buddha’s image of the mother who will protect her only child. Back in those days, if a mother had one son, that was her hope for her future security. So she’d protect that son as best she could, even with her life. In the same way, the Buddha says, you want to protect your goodwill with your life.

It’s not the case that you should love everybody as you would love a child. But you do have to protect your goodwill, because that’s your security. That’s your protection. If you start having ill will for others, then you’re going to do, and say, and think things that are unskillful, and that becomes your karma. You’re harming yourself. So maintain your goodwill.

Think of it in terms of karma. One, that it’s something that you have to develop. It’s not just a natural quality that will be uncovered in the mind. We have goodwill for some beings and not very goodwill for a lot of other beings. We’re trying to take this human goodwill, which is partial, and elevate it to the level of brahma goodwill, which is for all beings in all directions. That takes effort. When the Buddha calls it a determination, he calls it a kind of mindfulness. You’ve got to keep it in mind and be determined that you’re going to stick with it.

The other side of the karma is, of course, thinking about: What does it mean to wish for others to be happy? They’re going to have to create the causes for their happiness. At least that’s what you wish: “May you understand the causes of true happiness and be willing and able to act on them.” You extend that thought to yourself; you extend it to all beings. It’s a thought that you can have without hypocrisy.

Now, sometimes it does require some wisdom to realize that there are people you would like to see suffer first, before they become wise. But what’s accomplished by that? Very few people suffer and then equate their suffering with something they did. You ask people why they’re in prison. Most often they say, “Well they said I did this; they said I did that.” It’s always “them, them, them” out there.

So you want people to come to their senses of their own free will. If their ways have been unskillful, you want them to change their ways, and you’d be happy to help them in that direction. If they’re not willing to go in that direction, you still have goodwill for them. But you also have to couple the goodwill with equanimity, realizing that not everybody is going to want to be skillful. So you have the wish that beings be skillful and the acceptance of when they’re not.

But you’ve got to generate your goodwill at all times because you want to act in skillful ways at all times. You want to be protected at all times. So make this a good energy that you spread out into the world. Then learn how to express it wisely so nobody abuses those expressions and so that you can maintain your goodwill in all situations.