Little Kindnesses

In Thailand it’s traditional that when a person has passed away, seven days after the date of the death you make merit in a special way. So dedicate today’s meditation to Shotai. It’s been seven days now.

In the interim, I’ve been getting a lot of emails from people expressing condolences but also appreciation for her kindnesses. In spite of her gruff exterior, she would do little kindnesses for people. And it’s heartening to see how people notice that. Because it’s the little kindnesses that make a lot of difference.

This may have been a habit she picked up in her Zen training. In Zen monasteries, they encourage people to do little kindnesses behind the scenes for other people as a way of improving the atmosphere in the group. So as we’re dividing up Shotai’s duties, that’s something we should all divide up together.

Little things make life easier for one another. It makes being in a group a worthwhile thing, helpful for the practice. The Buddha talks about how being in a harmonious group is one of the things that gives rise to a sense of gladness that then can provide the basis for getting the mind into concentration.

So in addition to the formal ways of being generous, observing the precepts, meditating, add to the list of generosity the little kindnesses we can do for one another—thoughtful things. Because this is how we maintain and continue our memory of the people who’ve passed away. We think of the goodness that they did. We want to make sure that that goodness doesn’t die away from this world. Now that they’re not here to do it, we can do it in their place.

This is what makes human society a good place to be, a good place to practice. Otherwise it’s pretty miserable. You look at the news, and it’s one outrage after another. We don’t want to take that as our guide to what human beings are. Human beings also have the quality of humanity.

So think of the goodness you can do for one another. Notice that someone else is having trouble and difficulty, or just notice the little things you can do to make life smoother, easier. In that way, goodness doesn’t die from this world.