Death & Goodwill

The list of guardian meditations includes goodwill and mindfulness of death. We tend to think of them as two very separate techniques, two very separate topics—one positive and uplifting, the other negative and unpleasant. Actually, though, they’re related. As the Buddha points out in the Dhammapada, if you’re in conflict with someone, reflect on the fact that we’re all on the verge of dying—so that, at the very least, you can let your animosity subside.

This doesn’t mean you don’t get into battles. If there’s something you see is right and someone else is doing something you feel is very wrong, you can get into conflict, if you see that it’s worth it. But you have to do it with goodwill. If you’re coming at the other person with ill will, that person is going to detect it. He’ll be very unwilling to give in if he feels that the opposition is aimed at making him suffer. But if you realize that the person is really wrong and is actually doing something that’s going to be for his own long-term harm and affliction, then you can fight with goodwill.

Think of Ajaan Lee in the forest. An elephant in rut was running around, stabbing people with its tusks. The villagers nearby asked Ajaan Lee to leave the forest to get out into safety. But he was determined to stay—he wasn’t going to be a coward. It so happened one day that he was sitting under a tree near a clearing. The elephant came into the clearing and looked pretty fearsome. Ajaan Lee saw him and immediately started to run up the tree. But something inside him said, “If you’re afraid to die, you’re going to die many more times.” So he sat down and faced the elephant with his eyes open and spread lots and lots and lots of goodwill. The elephant, even though it was crazed in rut, was able to stop, flickered its ears a little bit, and then walked off.

There are a lot of incidents in the stories of the forest ajaans where they fought off potentially fatal dangers with goodwill. For them, goodwill was a strength. So, when you’re spreading thoughts of goodwill, it helps when you realize that we’re all going to die at some point. A lot of the issues of the day are going to be really minor when compared to the issue of dying, and you don’t want to carry those animosities over with you into the next life.

At the same time, reflect on the fact that you’re going to die, and here you are wasting your time. Do you really have goodwill for yourself? If you had goodwill for yourself, you’d do what you can do now to understand how you’re causing yourself suffering, and how the mind might be tempted to grasp after things that are really going to be for its long-term harm and affliction. You’ve got to deal with those tendencies right now. You can’t put them off, saying, “I’ve got more pressing things to do right now.” Your ultimate well-being should be the most pressing thing in your life.

So we think thoughts of goodwill as a way of augmenting our recollection of death, to give it some meaning. Otherwise, if it’s just, “Death, death, death, I’m going to die,” it gets very depressing. But when you realize that there are things you can do for your long-term welfare and happiness in spite of death, you can focus on developing inner treasures that you can take with you. You know the list: conviction, virtue, a healthy sense of shame, compunction, learning, generosity, discernment. These are all things you can work on for your long-term welfare and happiness. You should work on them now, while you have the chance.

So recollection of death helps with your thoughts of goodwill. Thoughts of goodwill help you with your recollection of death. Both together help put things into perspective. I have a student who’s planning to do battle with some people who want to build a data center in his town. He was telling me some of the things he wanted to say to the person who was really responsible for pushing it. All I could think of was that those words would alienate the other person more. I said, “You’ve *got *to have goodwill for him. What can you ask him, what can you say to him that would demonstrate that you have goodwill for his actual welfare?”

One thing might be, “Suppose you’re on your deathbed and look back, would you be happy that you did this?” Now, he might get offended, but at the very least, the question is a question of goodwill. And it’s a perspective you should always have when you come up with an issue in life where you’re having to make a choice. Ask yourself, “Suppose I were on my deathbed looking back on right now: Which choice would I be happier that I made?” That gives you some guidance as to what choice will sit best with your mind, sit best with your heart—guidance you need, because we live in this world where people lay claim to things and fight over them.

Think of the Buddha’s image of the fish. Before he ordained, before he went off into the forest, he had a vision of the world: It was like a river drying up, with fish fighting one another over what little water remains. But whoever won, they were all going to die. A lot of our battles are pointless like that.

Some of out battles do have a point. The Buddha is not teaching us to be doormats all the time. Take the case of the Sangha. He says, “If you know that there’s an attempt to put a split in the Sangha, even though it’s during the rains retreat, you should go and try to stop it.” There are some battles worth fighting.

Or with his teachings on harmony: You try to create harmony, but if you realize that one of the two sides is actually operating out of ill will, knowingly doing what he knows is wrong, there’s no potential for real harmony there. That’s a case where you have to simply go your separate ways or get rid of the people who are harmful. But getting rid of them, of course, doesn’t mean you kill them. You expel them from the Sangha. At times when they’re the majority, you leave after you’ve failed in your efforts to win them over. But if they have ill will and they’re coming from wrong view—knowingly coming from wrong-view—there’s no patching up, there’s no harmony. Those are cases where we have to take a stand and let the division remain.

We had a case, years back. Ajaan Suwat was staying at a monastery where one of monks was having an affair—two affairs, actually. When they became public, and Ajaan Suwat tried to hold the meeting of the Sangha—to clear things up, to get to the root of it—that monk and his friends said, “No, you stay out of this.” So Ajaan Suwat left. Then years later, that monk came here right after we’d started the monastery. He came with a lot of laypeople to make a donation, trying to show that everything had been patched up and thinking that in front of all the laypeople, Ajaan Suwat wouldn’t say anything. Well, he didn’t know Ajaan Suwat. The first thing Ajaan Suwat said to him was, “When are you going to get that issue resolved?” The monk said, “I’ve been trying…” “If you’d been trying”, Ajaan Suwat butted in, “it would have been settled a long time ago. In my eyes, you’re not a monk.” That’s a case where you have to draw a clear line.

But there are so many battles in life the where issues are so petty, so small, and yet people get really worked up about them. Like that case of the monks in Kosambi: The story in the commentary says that, basically, one of monks forgot to flush the toilet, and the issue blew up into a huge argument between two factions of the monastery. The Buddha tried to intervene, but they basically said, “You just be Buddha and stay out of this.” So he left. Eventually, the monks came around. They came to their senses after the laypeople said, “These monks are stupid. They’re fighting over something so small,” so they decided not to feed any of the monks. The monks finally came around.

There are so many cases in life where we get into battles over things that are not worth the battle. If we have any perspective from mindfulness of death, if we have any basic goodwill for ourselves and goodwill for others, we’d let the matter drop. If there are issues where we don’t think it should be dropped and it’s important to fight—okay, fight, but fight with goodwill. You’re much more likely to win. And even if you don’t win, you won’t have any scars on your mind as to things you did and said that were not all that skillful.

So think of these practices as going together. The fact of death gives more urgency to your goodwill, and the need for goodwill gives meaning to contemplation of death so that it’s not just depressing. It reminds you that there are things you can do. If you really have goodwill for yourself and goodwill for others, do them now, while you have the chance.