May All Beings Be Heedful

Back in the 70s, when people in my generation had gone to Asia, learned the Dhamma, and came back to teach, one of the teachings they brought back was the practice of the brahmavihārās: the practice of extending goodwill to all, compassion to all, empathetic joy to all, and equanimity to all. Of course, the word “all” includes extending these attitudes to yourself. The teachers then found that many people had trouble extending goodwill to themselves. They had trouble saying, “May I be happy.” They thought it was superficial, airy-fairy. Or they thought they didn’t deserve to be happy. Either way, they just couldn’t get their hearts around this practice.

Then gradually, over the years, there was a change until now: Younger generations seem to have no problem extending goodwill to themselves at all. They feel that they deserve to be happy.

Of course, both attitudes are extremes. The first attitude seems to come from a Judeo-Christian background, where suffering is regarded as a virtue. At the very least, it keeps you alert. You learn from your mistakes. And if you don’t keep on suffering, then you’ll forget that indulgence is bad. That attitude, of course, is the extreme of self-torture, deviating from the middle way.

The other attitude — that you deserve happiness, you deserve a reward just for participating, whether you participate well or not — is the extreme of sensual indulgence.

If you really want to develop a proper attitude toward happiness, you have to find the middle.

And what is the middle? Remember, the Buddha said that all skillful qualities come from heedfulness. What makes them skillful? They’re the proper answer to that question that lies at the beginning of discernment: “What, when I do it, will lead to my long-term harm and suffering? What, when I do it, will lead to my long-term welfare and happiness?” So, basically, developing heedfulness—thinking in the long term—is what you want.

Heedfulness is the realization that your actions make a difference between good and bad results. There are dangers within the mind—dangers outside, of course, but also, more importantly, dangers in the mind—but it’s possible to avoid those dangers through being skillful.

So the proper attitude is to try to maintain a sense of heedfulness, enjoying the results of your heedful actions. Remember, the Buddha didn’t say he would teach only those people who didn’t deserve to suffer. He taught the end of suffering for everybody who’s willing to take on the path, regardless of what your past has been. And the path requires having a healthy attitude toward happiness, a healthy attitude toward suffering: that you can learn from your suffering, but suffering in and of itself doesn’t constitute a virtue. At the same time, you’re working for happiness, and it’s not a selfish quest. After all, where does true happiness come from? It comes from within, from developing your own inner qualities: virtue, concentration, discernment; heedfulness, ardency, resolution. Developing happiness through these qualities doesn’t take anything away from anyone else. No one else is deprived by your happiness. In fact, it’s the responsible way to look for happiness in the world.

As for the other extreme, that’s more like the gospel of wealth, the gospel of prosperity. The old belief was that God punished those he loved to make them better people. Now the attitude is that God rewards those he loves, regardless of what they’ve done. He shows his love in allowing them to enjoy sensual pleasures, happiness, wealth. That’s very heedless. It’s because of that kind of attitude that other people feel a little bit embarrassed about the desire to be happy.

Remember, the Buddha was afraid of sensual pleasures because they made you heedless. Of course, not all sensual pleasures do that, but the fascination with planning for sensuality is a heedless pursuit. Sensual pleasures come and go. As long as they don’t have a bad effect on the mind—and the Buddha says clearly that not all sensual pleasures have a bad effect on the mind—then they’re okay. It’s only when they give rise to more greed, aversion, and delusion: That’s when they’re a problem.

Which means that when you genuinely wish for your happiness and the happiness of others, you’re not saying, “May you be happy in whatever way you lie.” You’re saying, “May you be happy in skillful ways.” “May all living beings be happy” means, “May all living beings be heedful.” “May I be happy” means, “May I be heedful.” When you think in these ways, then you can avoid the two extremes that the Buddha said were ignoble.

Notice that: Even making yourself feel noble about suffering, the Buddha says, is actually ignoble. When he gave his first Dhamma talk, that was probably the most shocking thing he said to his attendants, the five brethren. They thought that the path of self-punishment was a noble path, but he said, “Nope, it’s an ignoble extreme,” on a par with the ignoble extreme of sensual indulgence.

So try to develop a mature attitude toward your happiness. There’s nothing bad about being happy, but you have to be heedful in pursuing your happiness, in protecting your happiness, in realizing that you ideally want a happiness that’s responsible. Self-indulgence in sensuality tends to be pretty irresponsible. You don’t think about the long-term consequences, either for yourself or for others, which we see all around us. People are just pursuing their urges, their sensual whims, and creating a lot of damage.

But that doesn’t mean happiness has to be irresponsible. As the Buddha said, this is the responsible way to look for happiness: Train yourself within.

Being generous doesn’t take anything away from anyone else. Being virtuous doesn’t take anything away. Meditating doesn’t take anything away. And the results that come are happiness that has no boundaries.

When you sell something to somebody else, that creates a boundary that only the exchange of goods and money can overcome. Even then, after the exchange, the boundary is still there. Whereas when you give, it’s as if you’re treating one another as members of the same family. You find happiness; the recipient finds happiness. When you behave in a virtuous way toward other people, the fact that you’re not harming them is good for you, and of course it’s good for them, good for their happiness. The fact that you’re meditating is good for you, good for the people around you.

So have a mature attitude toward happiness—the happiness that the Buddha recommends as worth pursuing. It requires that you be heedful and responsible.

So: May all living beings be heedful. That’s the attitude we should all take to heart.